Self- Assessment of the diary

Yichen.Li
English II IS
Jennifer Guarino
12.16. 2015
Before this assignment, I never thought I could write more than 2500 words. This assignment is a big challenge for me to write a fake character who studied in the same school with a book's main character that I read. It must be hard to write a fake person's daily life. Everything about her I need to create, and my plot needs to be followed with the book's plot. It must a big challenge, but Ms. Guarino said this assignment is a not a big story, it divided into several small events. Obviously, the small events are easier to read than a big event. So she makes this assignment easier to write. I am satisfied about the main character that I create. I think she is the unique one. She was different with Sookan. Sookan was a student who studied in American, but she's a Korean. Two different cultures must be influenced about her studying and her life. But Marin, my main character, is a Native American. She never met with another country's people. Everything about Sookan is new for her, but also attracts her.  They studied in a university, for a girl they wanted to know many things rather than studying.  So in my diary, I wrote my details about Marin's daily life, because she was not Sookan, and she was not a student who came from another country. So Marin's daily life must be more interesting  than Sookan' s. For 5 senses, I payed many attentions on hearing and seeing. When Marin came to university, she saw the buildings. She made a new friend in college because her new friend saied hello to Marin. For touch, she found a beautiful cloth that was very soft because she touched the cloth, so she knew this cloth was soft. But for tasting and smelling, I did not write many details, I just wrote in candle lit dinner and Christmas dinner. Marin must write some details in these two important dinners. Other dinners were average, nothing happened, so Marin would not write something in her diary about the average dinners. I used first person to write because this is a diary. I wrote details in her daily life. Many things happened in her daily life, but her thinking I just could guess because I am not a girl, and boys did not write diaries in our daily life. So I did not know that would a girl write what did she think in the diary. I just payed attention on the description part. Even though I still had many faults in the grammar parts. Ms. Guarino took three or four classes for us to revise our grammar mistakes, but I thought I still had some faults in grammar. I always start a sentence with“ I ”, she told me to change this habit, I cannot use it for my every sentence. So I think “ I ” is the biggest error for me. For the word count, I wrote many word, I could not count how many words did I write, but when I wrote more than 2500 words. I stopped because I began to ask myself should I write so many words. Should I delete some words? I thought a few minutes, then I began to read my diary. I wanted to know if I am a reader, what do I want to know and what do I want to pass to read. And Ms. Swift also said to me that the self-criticism is important to a writer, he must know what do the readers want to knows from your story. So if I evaluate my diary, I would give my self an A-, I still need to do many study on Grammer, but I think my plot is very attractive for readers.

Writing center

Yichen.Li

English II IS

Jennifer Guarino

12.14. 2015

This is not the first time I met Ms. Swift. Because I have writing class, and my writing teacher told me that I needed to find Ms. Swift to revise my paper.  Last time, she gave me the advice about how I can revise my paper. She said that I wanted to tell more things to readers, but my english writing skill was not good. My sentence would always make the readers confused about what did I want to say.  And this time before I went to the writing center, I read my paper twice times, because I did not want to Ms. Swift be disappointed, and I was not a person who wanted to do the wrong things twice time. So I asked my roommate to read my diary, and then asked him that can he understand my thought clearly. When my roommate said it is OK, then I went to Writing center to find Ms. Swift. 

She did not read all my diary, she just read my first and second paragraph, and then she said I am glad that your writing skill became better, and your sentences are more clear. I am happy to see that. But there’s one more thing you should figure out. I think your english teacher may tell you. It’s called the comma splice. See your first and second sentence, you use many comma in it, but we know that we use comma when we think next sentence must have some connections with last sentence. If you read carefully about your sentences. You would notice that there’s not enough connections between each two sentences, so at this time which means you need to use period to end this sentence and to begin a new sentence. And your diary is not vivid, even thoughI can understand why are you trying to say. But your diary does not have a point to attract others. Why they want to continue to read your diary, because of interests. Your diary must have some vivid details. “But this is not only your fault, many foreign speakers have this problem.” She said to me.  Then I asked her a question about grammar, “ Why we say go back to dorm, and we have to say go back home. Why there’s no to in the latter sentence. Does the latter sentence have any special part?” She answered:” Well, there’s no special part in it, but I am glad that you have this question. For this question, my answer is that it is just an habit when we use it. Because native speakers always say it, so they would not be strange about it, but you are a foreign speaker. You need to learn everything from the native speakers. If you have your free time, you could read a magazine. It’s called National Geographic, there are many beautiful pictures in this magazine, but your goal that read this book is not seeing the beautiful scenes. You need to see the explanations that are next to the pictures. After you read their explanations, and then you can try to write your own story about that scenes. When you finish your story, you can compare your story to their explanations. You could see why their explanations are better than yours. It’s not only the grammar or lack of words. It shows how they use english to describe things. One magazine you can watch for one month, it is useful in order to improve your writing skill. 

3

May 1st.

We had a Mass in the main chapel to have a funeral for Sookan’s mom. Sister Reed arranged everything. I did not know what could I do, so I followed after Sister Reed. Everyone dressed up, so was I. I could see that Sookan could hardly keep from crying. She is a strong girl, but she’s just a girl. This thing was too huge for a girl.

May 3rd.

The final exam was coming. I had no time to play games, and no time to chat with my friends. I went to library to review. I liked the atmosphere in library; It is quiet and peaceful. I began to understand why Sookan liked to go to library after class, because this is the only peaceful place in the college campus. If I had enough time, I wish I could stay in library forever.

May 20th.

Time was fleeting. I could not stop time’s step, Sookan payed all of her attention at studying, Bengi had a girlfriend, so everyday he came back to dorm after 12 o’clock. I became lonely as same as when I went to this college first time. I did not like to waste my time on playing. I began to wear glasses and read some books from Renaissance. I began to understand why mom or my ancestors always said the difficult time can not hurt you, but it just can make you to grow and become strong.

May 31st.

This was the last day of my freshman year. I learned a lot in this year. I had good friends. I could not guess what will happen next year, Sookan could not predict that she will lose her mom after she went to America. Bengi could not predetermine if he will have a girlfriend in his first year of college. I also could not predict if I will like to study, like to exchange ideas with professors. My mom would be happy to see my change.

Definition of some proper nouns

Comma splice

A comma splice is the use of a comma to join two independent clauses. 

Ex: I went fishing, I went mountain climbing, I went back my home. 

Run-on sentence

A ungrammatical sentence in which two or more independent clauses are conjoined without a conjunction. 

Ex: Now it’s almost five o’clock time is not enough for us to play. 

Sentence fragment

Sentence fragment is a group of words that look like sentence, but are not. Lose subject or verb. 

Ex:On Saturday, will go back home. 

Independent clause

a clause in a complex sentence that can stand alone as a complete sentence

Ex: I like reading books in my free time. 

Dependent clause

a clause in a complex sentence that cannot stand alone as a complete sentence and that functions within the sentence as a noun or adjective or adverb

Ex: Because he lost his phone last Saturday, he decided to buy a new phone. 

Semi-colon

Semi colon is a punctuation mark that separates major sentence element, it can be used between two closely related independent clauses, provided they are not already joined by a coordinating conjunction. 

Ex: I needed to finish three paper and two assignments today; I even did not have free time to drink coffee.

Gathering of Pearls, from another character‘s perspective

Today I finished my first year of college. When I finished my final test, then I figured out that time can not be traced back. Time never stops. But what did I do this year? Did I do anything meaningful? I began to ask myself.  When I went back to dorm, I automatically sat down on my chair and opened my diary, wanting to write today’s event on it. Suddenly, I had an idea that I could use my diary to know what did I do this year. I became excited and opened my diary up, landing on the first page where I began to record my college life.

September 1st.

Today I went to my college school, Finch college. Where was so big, the buildings were so huge. I had my first friend in college, his name was Bengi. We were in the same dorm room and I thought we could accompany with others in next four years. We slept in the different rooms until we finished managing our luggages. I hoped I can become mature in this college, will I?

September 3rd.

Bengi and I became the best friends because we were in the same dorm. Today Bengi said I would become a couch potato if I continued to stay on the sofa. Because I was lazy so that I didn't do any exercises when I sat on the sofa. So he took me to the shop in order to buy snacks and supplies. But when we ate ice cream, I saw a beautiful Korean girl. I did not know her name, she was talking with Ellen and their friends. She was not too tall but she was the most unique person in their group.

September 9th.

Today was the course selection day, Bengi and I went to admission office to meet Sister Casey in order to select our courses. In the first college year, I would have six courses that contained many tests and many assignments. I was jealous about Bengi, because he just needed to spend his time on computer science and painting. He just had two courses this year.

September 10th.

Today we had a mixer. There were so many handsome boys and beautiful girls, but no one was in my favor.  So I came back to dorm to clean my room. But when I finished cleaning my room, I went into Bengi’s room, his room was amazing. My room could not be compared with his. I walked into my room and continued to clean and manage it. I needed more time to fit in with the college atmosphere.

October 18th.

I had begun my first semester for almost two months. Now some classes were easy some classes were not. Fortunately I had the same class with Sookan, that beautiful Korean girl’s. But I did not talk with her very much, not only because I was shy, but also because she ran quickly to library after class. Was score or studying very important for her? Or in Korean culture, was studying the most important thing? I didn’t know Korean culture, I just could guess.

October 20th.

We had candle-lit dinner today,I disliked that I need to wear suit for dinner. But I saw Sookan served for the kitchen stuff. Even she wore the uniform, the white starched blouse, black straight skirt, and low patent leather pumps. These things can not hide her beauty. When dining hall was transformed into a dark place, but firelight shadows began to shimmer and dance around the room, I was fascinated from Sookan when she smiled, which showed she liked this peaceful and meaningful movement. She was so pretty.

October 22th.

Today was Saturday, which was a boring day, I decided to go to downtown to buy some snacks for next week. When I walked in front a shop, I saw a beautiful black dress in the front window. The dress was so pretty, but for a man, I should not be attracted from a dress, but I was thinking about Sookan. This dress was small for American girls, if Sookan wore this in Thanksgiving, what an amazing thing! But the price was too high, I decided to do some part-time jobs to earn money.

October 24th.

Today was freshman election week. We needed to elect many committees. I saw Sookan’s roommate, Ellen nominated for the dance committee. She was pretty but I still thought Sookan was prettier than her. I elected Sookan to join in to the student council. She would not refuse this opportunity because every student wanted to serve on the student council. But she rejected, her excuse was that she did not have free time to do it. Was that scholarship very important for her? After she finished her speech, I can not find where was she, I even can not talk with her for several seconds.

November 7th.

Today I went to the library in order to review and prepare my Greek and Roman Culture quiz for next week, this subject was the hardest subject I had ever met. I like math numbers, I did not want to learn what did my ancestor do in the past, I wanted to do something that my offsprings can remember rather than I remembered my ancestors’ contributions. I did not like history.

November 12th.

Today’s weather was good, I had noting to do, so I decided to go to gym to play basketball with Bengi, his jumping was incredible. I can not believe this guy chose computer science instead of sports.  But he did not tell me why, I did not ask him. I thought I would ask him why he did not choose sports until he wanted to tell me.

November 25th.

Greek and Roman culture quiz score was published, I got a good score, 84. But when I asked Sookan what score did she get, she said 82. I can not believe why she always studied in library but the result was that she just got a lower point than me? But I felt nervous when I talked with her, did she notice that? I believed the answer was no.

November 28th

We had a short vacation from last Saturday to this Wednesday. This vacation also must be a boring vacation. Bengi went to another college to meet his old friend, Tom. Also Sookan went to New Jersey with Ellen. I was lonely in the dorm. So I went to the downtown in order to find some part-time jobs to earn money. I got a job about washing dishes, I could earn $17 per hour. And I worked from twelve clock to 4 clock, and the restaurant owner served me a bowl of noodles. It was delicious when I ate after I washed more than hundred dishes.

December 6th.

Today was not a good day. When I got up, Bengi told me that Sookan was fainted in the library. I can not calm. I just wanted to know if Sookan was all right? But Sister Reed rejected my request, she said Sookan needed time to recover. Anyone can not interrupt  her. I just can see her sleep peacefully.

December 7th.

Because Sookan fainted yesterday, but I have a quiz on my psychology subject. I can not concentrate on my paper, my mind was full of Sookan, so I answered vaguely and now I got B’s on my paper, but I did not care about it, my average score was A. Sookan was still in lethargy. When can she awaken?

December 8th.

Thanks of the god, she woke up, and Sister Reed said she was all right. I wanted to tell Sookan that I cared about her a lot. But when I saw her face, I forgot everything so I could not say anything, I just putted a bunch of flowers in front of her night stand when she fell in sleep. And then I went to library, found a seat and began to review my test.

December 24th.

Tomorrow will be the Christmas, so today my mom came here to pick me up, she looked tired but I did not have any solution to solve her pressure. And I knew my mission was to study and then found a good job that had high salary then my mom’s pressure would be reduced.

January 1st.

Everything was good, new year, I made a new year resolution. Same day last year, my mom, my dad and I celebrated new year in our home. But a drunk driver crushed a trunk then killed my father, then I lost my dad, my mom lost her husband. I wanted to kill that drunk driver but unfortunately until nowadays, the police did not find him. Did police have known what they did?

January 3rd.

Today I ate dinner with my brother, Misaya. Now he studied in China, because of Chinese New Year, he went back home, and I came back home to have dinner with him. He was tall and his blue eyes were also attractive for me. We talked about last year’s events. Then he asked me what I wanted to do in the future, I did not answer him because I was confused with what I could do. I needed time to figure out.

January 3rd.

When I came back to the school, and I met Sister Casey, she told me that yesterday  Sookan cooked a very delicious Korean dinner and invited all her friends to celebrate. Wasn’t I her friend? Why did not she invite me? I regretted that I went home so early otherwise I would not have missed this meaningful dinner.

January 9th.

Last Greek and Roman Culture test score was published, because Sookan fainted, so she needed to meet the Greek and Roman culture professor to let her take a makeup exam. I got A- on this test, a satisfactory level. Even though I got this score on my history class, I would still think finance was my best subject.

January 14th.

Everything was incredible today. First, I didn’t get up until 9:00 o’clock. Then my roommate still slept, I didn’t care about him, because I had classes in the morning he did not. And in the afternoon, Sister Reed called me to go to her office to talk about my study. She said if I could make the top three in the math competition, she would give me a special gift. I should try hard.

February 1st.

Ellen was..engaged? Peggy announced this news I can not believe my ears and eyes, I saw a large diamond that sparkled on her left hand. Why would Kyle want to be engaged with Ellen so early? We were just freshman. And I noticed Sookan looking so lost. This was an incredible news for a traditional girl. I hoped that the news would not let Ellen continue to influence her, Sookan could not accept it.

February 5th.

Finally Ellen extended engagement until she can finish her college. Which sounded great. But I saw that Sookan went to the library earlier and she did not communicate with Ellen frequently. I always observed sadness in her eyes. Did they argue something? I could not believe, Sookan was very docile and understanding. Ellen might have done something wrong first.

February 6th.

I saved the enough money to buy that dress. But when I went to that shop and after I paid the money, I found a question—Where should I put this dress? In my closet? Impossible. So I asked the salesperson that I was allowed to put this dress here until March when I would pick it up. She agreed and I could not wait when Sookan wore this dress. This dress was made for her.

February 19th.

I received a gift from Sister Reed, because I got the champion in the math competition. The gift was a painting. It was beautiful and meaningful gift. I appreciated Sister Reed’s gift . And we talked about my studying. And I went back to dorm and chatted with Bengi. Finally he would not only pay all his attentions on his computer to do his researches.

March 3rd.

When I went back to that shop and I wanted to take that dress, but a woman said she gave that dress to another girl, then she returned my money. Who bought that dress, and what should I give to Sookan? I have already invited her to this mixer. I walked on the street for several times but I did not find a solution.

March 4th.

Sookan was fantastic. Now I knew who bought that dress and why that woman wanted to give the Sookan this dress because she’s the only one can show the beauty of this dress. She was so stylish. The black dress and the white pearls, which all showed the beauty of Sookan, she was the queen today, but why she danced with another man, I did not have courage to invite her to dance, then, she and Ellen and Kyle were disappeared, I can not find them. Was I too fearsome?

March 14th.

Freshman year was drawing to close and the last exam was closer. I had many pressures from my subjects. But I needed to get a good grades, I would not let my mom disappoint. But fortunately, today Sookan gave me a painting that she drew. It was pretty. Blue sky, white clouds, and green grasses, which showed her positive attitude and also showed she loved the freedom. I would treasure this painting.

March 15th.

Sister Casey told me that if I do not come back to home these days, would I do somethings for school, then I went to her office to find something that I can do. In the end, I chose to help register the students and give tours of the campus next day. This job was easy and I can get the credit from it.

April 4th.

I’ve got a cold yesterday night. When I got up, I felt the cold that took it out of me. All I wanted to do was to sit about doing nothing. So I told my Sister Reed that I could not come to class today because of cold. She said everything will be ok. And when Bengi came back, he took some medicine for me. I slept after I ate the medicine, now I felt much better.

April 16th.

I saw a priest came into our college, but he wore strange clothes that was not same as the clothes that the American priest would wear. And I saw that Sookan talked with him a lot. I thought they were familiar. If my thinking was true,why Sookan cried when the priest had gone? Because of missing?

April 17th.

This event must be a bomb, Sookan’s mom was dead. When I ate lunch, I saw that her eyes sockets were red. A words didn't say during lunch time. So after lunch I asked Ellen, they were roommates and they were the best friends, she would know what happened on Sookan. My mind drew a blank when Ellen told me that Sookan’s mom went to the heaven. I knew this thing was overwhelmed for a girl who went to another unfamiliar city for studying.

April. 20

These days I got up so early, I went to library in order to accompany with Sookan, I wanted to reduce her pressure, she was just 18 years old. But I can not find her in the library. In the Greek and Roman culture class, she looked lethargic and unhappy. She was optimistic but now she was very depressed and in despair. I did not how to help her. I just gave a bracelet to Ellen, I wished she could give it to Sookan but please did not say my name. I just wanted her to be happy.

May 1st.

We had a Mass in the main chapel to see off the Sookan’s mom. Sister Reed arranged everything. I just wanted to help Sookan, so I accompanied with Sister Reed to do everything. Everyone dressed up, and I could see that Sookan could hardly keep from crying. She was a strong girl, but she’s just a girl. This thing was so huge for a girl.

May 3rd.

The final exam was coming. I had no time to play my games, and no time to chat with others. I went to library in order to review, I liked the atmosphere in library, quiet, peaceful. I began to understand why Sookan liked to go to library after class, this is the only peacefully place in the college campus. If I had enough time, I wished I could stay in library forever.

May 20th.

Time was fleeting. I could not stop it’s step, Sookan payed her all attention in studying, Bengi had a girlfriend, everyday he came back to dorm after 12 o’clock. I became lonely as same as when I went to this college first time. I did not like to waste my time on playing. I began to wear glasses, I began to read some products from Renaissance. I began to understand why mom or my ancestors always said the difficult time can not hurt you, it just can make you to grow and become strong.

May 31st.

This was the last day in my freshman year. I learned a lot in this year. i had good friends. I could not guess what will happen next year, Sookan could not forecast that she will lose her mom after she went to American. Bengi could not predetermine he will have a girlfriend in his first year of college. I also could not forecast that I will like to study, like to exchange ideas with professors. My mom would be happy to see my change.

Diary entry

11/22/2015 Monday
Today I went to banff with my brother. Banff was the most beautiful park in Canada. But it was not crowed because today was Monday and Canadian thanksgiving day was not same as the American thanksgiving day. So I can not eat turkey these days. When I arrived to Banff, i was surprised. It was snowing, everything became white under the snow. There was a lake, but it was frozen I could even walk on it. Then I saw a mountain near the lake, when I stood on the mountain and took a look at that lake, it showed different colors under the sunlight. So beautiful. But the weather was so cold, we just played four hours and then we went back home. But snow-covered landscape was too beautiful. If the temperature increased, I would want to go there to see the mountain and lake without snow, which must be totally two different landscapes.

Holiday in Calgary

This vacation was wonderful, I went to Calgary and stayed with my brother. In my vacation, it did not have the meaning of the morning. Because I always woke up at 11:00 o'clock. And in the evening, we bother were lazy, after we finished our dinner, we went to our rooms and did our own things. But there were some interesting part in his trip. On nov.23rd, we went to banff, because Calgary was snowing, everything became white, and the lake was frozen, I could even stand on that lake. Near the lake, it was a mountain, no very tall. But when you stood on this mountain and you looked that lake, you could see that lake had many colors, which was colorful. And after two days, the temperature was declined to subzero. We decided to go fishing. My brother told me that because the weather was so cold, I needed to wear more than two clothes and more than two pants. They could help me to against the cold. But went fishing, this thing was so boring, you just needed to hold the fishing rod, and stayed there, waited for your prey. You could not do anything during this time. But the result was so good, I got two fish, and my brother got three fish. This trip was amazing except my phone screen was cracked. Also because of the temperature, I thought my hands were frozen, I could not control my hands anymore, the phone was released from my hand to the ground.
In general, I love Calgary, but the temperature was not suited for me to live there, it was so cold.