Poem peer review ( For Marinda's poem analysis)

Yichen.Li
English II (IS)
Jennifer Guarino
05.23.2016

Sonnets 18 was written in old English, which means it was hard to read and understand for a student whose first language is not English, but from Marinda's poem analysis, she clearly showed that she had already finished reading and understanding about this poem. From the structure part, I love the way she divided each paragraph that every paragraph contained a special main idea, for the first paragraph, she explained the background information of Shakespeare and the poem, which was very helpful for the readers to understand Shakespeare and the poem, Sonnets 18 deeply.  In the second paragraph, she interpreted the poem, however, she did not take many examples to explain the poem, she just used one example and she added many summaries in the second paragraph in order to make the readers clearly understand her idea. In the third paragraph, she analyzed the whole paragraph, this part I think she did it very well because the in this paragraph she used a lot of evidence to support her analysis, compared with the second paragraph, which is necessary to use examples to analysis this poem's structure and ideas from the speaker. Moreover, there is another thing Marinda did very well that is the connections between each paragraph. The connection between the first paragraph and the second paragraph is the speaker, Shakespeare. And the connection between second paragraph and third paragraph is the content of Sonnets 18. 

Even though there are many shiny points in Marinda's poem analysis, however, there are still something she needs to improve. The first one is the unclear thesis statement, she writes down so many things in the first paragraph, but in this paragraph, it contains both introduction part and analysis part, which means she needs to review her first paragraph in order to let the readers clearly understand her organization of this poem from the first paragraph. Second, about the surface meaning of the poem,   she just simply talked about the meaning of the poem and the reason why Shakespeare wrote down this poem, but due to it was written in old English, she may give more examples from the poem to show Shakespeare's sadness toward to his lover. Third, on the analysis part, before I said she needs to change her first paragraph due to there are many information in it, which contains the introduction and analysis parts. So if she moves the first paragraph's analysis to the third paragraph, which seems there are so much information in the third paragraph that let the readers know. But her analysis part did very well because of the giving examples and the management of the paragraph. The only thing she needs to improve from my opinion is the organization of the third paragraph. Marinda used the choice that was to analyze the poem by each category, for example, she analyzed the poem by the order of comparison, personification, simile, metaphor, and repetition. I do not want to say it was not good but it would make me feel confused when I read the analysis of the poem even though she gave many examples to support her analysis., but for me, I think the good way to do it is to analyze the poem from the beginning to the end. Because of the second paragraph, she talked about the meaning of the poem by the order, which would help the readers to understand both her poem surface meaning and her analysis more clearly.